Time Flys

I can't believe it's been a year since Ashley was with us. I know she sees us and is "here," but I miss being able to see her and touch her and smell her. She would light up a room, and knew exactly what to say or do to comfort my son. I'm getting used to being a single father, but I do long for a partner to love and grow old with. Connor is a great companion, but...

Anyway, I may have said this before, but when her death was still new, I would think about Ashley and cry because I missed her. I still cry, but now when I think about Ashley I feel happy...like remembering your favorite Christmas. When I am in a bad mood, or need to be cheered up, I remember the good times with her and I am instantly feeling better. That's the kind of person she was.

I am reminded of a song about love and losing someone you love:

"Love is lightning, love is ice.
It only strikes the lucky twice,
Once so you will know the price.
and once for crazy faith."

I have faith that I will see her again and that our family will remain so forever. But I also have faith that if God willing I can find a partner who I can love and who will love us as much as Ashley did. When the time is right...

Almost over...

This is the last official weekend of our Summer. I go back to work tomorrow, and Connor goes back to pre-school too. We've done alot these past few months, and is seems like we've really gotten to know each other. The time we've spent together has been great.

Yesterday, we were at the park, and Connor wanted to ride his new bike. I finally bought him a bike last week and he's been on it ever since. Anyway, as he was pulling away from me wearing his little helmet and his new back-pack that Grandma got for him, I realized how awesome it is to be a parent and how much I truely love that little boy.

It's times like that, that I wish Ashley was here. I guess in my heart I know that she is able to see those moments, but I miss having her next to me while they happen. This coming weekend it will be a year since she passed, and although it's a lot easier now, I still miss my sweetheart.